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#12 – Transformers (2007) – Samwise Gangee Has Got The AllSpark

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Michael Bay is singlehandedly responsible for ruining this episode, in which Ben and Molly lose 143 minutes of their lives to the cinematic monstrosity Transformers (2007). Ben invents an effective but questionably humane form of euthanasia. Molly’s inability to distinguish white men serendipitously leads to an inspired recasting of a beloved ’80s property.

#10 – Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001) – Mocap, Mo’ Problems

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Ben and Molly perform a dark ritual to sacrifice 78 minutes of their finite mortal lives to the shifting, shapeless spectre of a film that is Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001). Ben astral projects for the first time. Molly endures a traumatic flashback to her Nutcracker performance days.

#06 – The LEGO Movie (2014) – When You Lost The Magic

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After suffering through an unbroken string of terrible films, Ben and Molly find respite in The Lego Movie (2014) and admittedly aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves in the absence of searing psychological pain. Ben confesses to several heinous childhood crimes. Molly doesn’t know how to play with herself.