Ben


#10 – Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001) – Mocap, Mo’ Problems

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Ben and Molly perform a dark ritual to sacrifice 78 minutes of their finite mortal lives to the shifting, shapeless spectre of a film that is Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001). Ben astral projects for the first time. Molly endures a traumatic flashback to her Nutcracker performance days.

#09 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) – Teentle Meentle Neentle Tootles

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Dick jokes abound as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) gives Ben and Molly an unsolicited crash course in turtle puberty. Ben composes a set of exceedingly helpful mnemonic poems to keep the turtles’ names straight. Molly pitches a spec episode of Bones.

#06 – The Lego Movie (2014) – When You Lost The Magic

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After suffering through an unbroken string of terrible films, Ben and Molly find respite in The Lego Movie (2014) and admittedly aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves in the absence of searing psychological pain. Ben confesses to several heinous childhood crimes. Molly doesn’t know how to play with herself.

#05 – Barbie and the Rockers: Out of This World / Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’ Back to Earth (1987) – The Sensations Are Cramps

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Ben and Molly Lamaze breathe through all 45 minutes of Barbie and the Rockers and Barbie and the Sensations: Rockin’ Back to Earth (1987) – for science! Ben devises the perfect murder for Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Molly struggles to cope with two intimate betrayals.

#04 – Pokémon: The First Movie (1998) – My Charizard From Hell

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Ben and Molly look on in bewilderment as Pokémon: The First Movie (1998) accidentally dismantles the very foundation of its franchise’s premise. Ben makes the best joke of his entire career. Molly is mostly just relieved at the absence of weird sexual overtones.

#02 – Masters of the Universe (1987) – Two Bags of Skittles

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In this sophomore(ic) episode, Ben and Molly watch Masters of the Universe (1987) and make virtually no attempt to hide the fact that they would have much rather watched Flight of the Navigator. Ben tries and fails to rein in the sexiness. Molly witnesses her first collaring ceremony.